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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22415254">Halam'shivanas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hekaete/pseuds/hekaete'>hekaete</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Companion Lavellan (Dragon Age), F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lavellan twins, M/M, Non-Inquisitor Lavellan, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:33:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22415254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hekaete/pseuds/hekaete</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Halam'shivanas - the sweet sacrifice of duty.</p><p>All her life, Ellana of Clan Lavellan has been bound by her duty as First, the eventual Keeper of her clan. A mage in a world which fears her as much as it reveres her, she's felt separate from everyone in her clan except her twin brother, Mahanon. When Mahanon goes to spy on the Mage-Templar Conclave, she knows something will go wrong, and it does. The Conclave is destroyed, and everyone is killed. Except her brother.</p><p>Mahanon is called the Herald of Andraste, and celebrated by the humans. Ellana can't leave her brother alone, and so joins him in the Inquisition, where she meets a strange elf - Solas.</p><p>Intrigued by this apostate, Ellana is drawn to him, an elf of no Dalish clan but with knowledge that is explained only by his journeys in the Fade. As she and Solas become more intertwined, Ellana must deal with the Inquisition, and the forces seeking to destroy it - and her brother.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s), Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had watched my brother leave our clan with a feeling of dread in my heart. Though he was not alone, he was the youngest of the hunters in his small group, and I couldn't help but be worried. I said a silent prayer to the Creators to look over him, especially Dirthamen, who was god of secrets. If anyone was to protect a spy, it was him.</p><p>Not for the first time in my life, I felt a spark of resentment against our Keeper. I loved her like a mother, it was true, but she was sending my brother away from me, to spy among humans. I couldn't help but feel that there had to be a better way.</p><p>The Mage-Templar war was dangerous to everyone in Thedas, human, elf, dwarf, or qunari. This much was true. Already, we had faced mages running away, and templars who had gone rogue. The latter in particular were dangerous to me - I was a mage, after all, First to our Keeper.</p><p>I had offered to go myself, to spy, but Keeper Deshanna had denied me. Mages were valuable amongst the Dalish, the keeper of our lore, the leaders of our clans, and I knew it. But my life didn't feel more valuable for that. </p><p>It was useless arguing with her, of course. When the Keeper made up her mind, that was that, something I usually respected her for. In this case, however, it was more frustrating than anything. <span>Clan Lavellan had always been more open to trading with humans than most, and perhaps that was a good thing, but I didn't think that meant we had to get even more involved in their affairs. But the Keeper said that we needed to know what happened in the Conclave, that it could shape the Age, and so the decision was made.</span></p><p>
  <span>It was weeks before we heard any news. I did my best to distract myself, studying with Maren, the Second, learning from the Keeper, and teaching the young ones. But my heart was with Mahanon, hiding among humans. He would be in so much danger. I knew you couldn't rely on mercy from humans, not for the Dalish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we finally heard news, it was the thing that I had dreaded, had prayed would not occur. There had been some kind of explosion, some kind of disaster at the Conclave, and everyone had died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mahanon had died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was numb as I mourned for my twin brother, and time became a blur. I wept, but the tears felt empty. The world felt empty without him. The only thing I could feel was anger- anger at the humans, for causing his death. Anger at Keeper Deshanna, for sending him away. At myself, for not being there to protect him. I mourned for the other hunters, of course - our clan was close, and they were brothers and sisters as well, in their own way. But it was the brother of my blood that I missed the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't come out of this darkness until more news came. News of a survivor, a Dalish elf. Could it be Mahanon? I thought it must be. We came into the world together - what right did he have to leave it without me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hope that my twin might have survived was enough to shake me out of my depression, and I joined the world again. Even if it wasn't Mahanon, something had shaken me awake. If Mahanon was dead, I would have to move on. And if he was alive, I would go to him. Either way, life had to change.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was about when the messengers from the Inquisition arrived.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>I was meditating, lightning dancing over my fingers as I practiced, when I heard a commotion. I had been working up the nerve to ask Keeper Deshanna permission to go join the newly formed Inquisition, to support Mahanon or whoever had survived. I knew she would deny my request, and planned on leaving anyway, but I would ask first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up, frowning, allowing the static charge to dissipate. I heard someone shouting, a threat, it sounded like. and I stood. Grabbing my staff, I headed over to the sound. If there was trouble, I would help. It was my place as First, to step in when the Keeper was unavailable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Preparing my magic, just in case, I gripped my staff more tightly when I saw the strangers. They were elvhen, yes, but dressed like humans, in leather armor, almost like a uniform, with a sigil that reminded me of the Chantry. But why would the Chantry send elves? It was odd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were several hunters shouting at the strangers, though luckily no weapons had yet been drawn. I knew I had to deescalate the situation, or blood would be drawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>Andaran atish’an, friends," I said, hoping that my attitude would calm the hunters. Everyone had been on edge since the news from the Conclave, and I knew they were more prepared to defend the clan than ever. Several of them shot me looks, but I could see them visibly stand down. "What brings you to our camp?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The strangers looked relieved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're from the Inquisition, with a message for Clan Lavellan. We've been told to speak to the Keeper," one of the elves said. I could tell by their bare faces that they weren't Dalish, were what some called flat-ears. A cruel term - one could not help where they were born.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you have come in peace, you are welcome here," I said, hoping that I was making the right decision. "Though we know little of the Inquisition. Come and sit, and I will fetch our Keeper."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to do just that, though my heard hammered in my chest. Could they have news of Mahanon, or whoever the survivor was? I wanted desperately to ask, but I knew it would be better to get Keeper Deshanna before I spoke to the strangers any more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hurried to Deshanna's aravel, knocking loudly on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keeper! Messengers from the Inquisition have arrived," I said, just loud enough to be heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She quickly came out, her staff in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are they a threat?" she asked, looking at me intently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They claim only to have a message for the Keeper, but they don't seem to be aggressive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well, I will meet with these strangers. Take me to them," the white-haired woman said, and I lead the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I lead the way, taking her to where the hunters had brought the strangers to the fire. It was a good move, though I saw that they hadn't been friendly enough to provide food or drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Keeper took over, standing tall over the seated messengers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are from the Inquisition? Then tell us of our own. I have written to you, with no word back. What happened to the Dalish elf in your custody?"<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was pleased that Keeper Deshanna asked right away, though I hadn't known of the letter. Perhaps she didn't want to get my hopes up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's why we're here," said what seemed to be the leader. "We have a letter from Mahanon Lavellan for you, as well as a few herbs and the like. Gifts from the Inquisition and the Herald of Andraste."</span>
</p><p>I nearly collapsed with relief. Mahanon was alive.</p><p>"May I see the letter?" the Keeper said, as calm as anything, and took the offered parchment from the messenger. She read it silently, before handing it over to me</p><p>
  <em>Keeper Deshanna,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am alive and well, though the other hunters who traveled with me have been killed. We still don't know who was behind the explosion at the Conclave, though I am working with the humans and the Inquisition to find out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have strange news - they have begun to call me the Herald of Andraste, believing that I am some kind of figure from their Maker. While I have tried many times to deny these claims, word has travelled, and more come to Haven every day to see me and to join us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know that this might be hard to believe, that they venerate a Dalish elf, but it is the truth. I don't know what to do with this belief, but I am trying hard to be a good leader for those who do believe, because I don't think I have a choice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There is more news. I have some kind of magic mark on my hand, that allows me to close rifts in the Fade. My presence has become invaluable for closing these rifts, and already I have travelled to close as many as I can. I continue to do so, and we aim to close what we call The Breach, a giant rift in the sky near Haven.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't return to the clan right now, or even soon. People here are relying on me, and I don't know what will happen if we . can't close The Breach. It might spread, or even more rifts might open. We don't know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The people are friendly here. Don't worry about my safety. I'm not in danger from the Inquisition.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tomorrow I travel to Val Royeau in Orlais, to speak to Mothers of the Chantry. I hope to have a letter from you when I return.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Give my love to Ellana.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mahanon Lavellan</em>
</p><p>The Herald of Andraste? What in the name of the Creators? Had these humans gone mad? A Dalish elf, the herald of their Maker. It was the strangest thing that I had ever heard, not even counting the fact that this supposed herald was Mahanon.</p><p>"They really call Mahanon the Herald of Andraste?" I asked, trying not to show my incredulity in my voice.</p><p>"Yes, of course. He's one of the leaders of the Inquisition," said one of the messengers. "Forgive me, but you look like him."</p><p>"Mahanon is my brother," I said, still disbelieving. "He is safe, then?"</p><p>"As safe as he can be. He goes out with his companions quite a bit, fighting, closing rifts, but they do their best to look after him."</p><p>"But he not some kind of hostage," I confirmed, and the messenger looked horrified.</p><p>"Oh, not at all. He's free to leave whenever he would like."</p><p>"Give me some time to write a response to Mahanon," the Keeper said, taking the letter back from me. "If you like, you may stay here at the camp tonight, though I would ask you to leave tomorrow."</p><p>"We would be honored to join you tonight, though we're in a hurry to get back to Haven. Thank you for you hospitality."</p><p>The Keeper was walking away, leaving me to stand there awkwardly. I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I couldn't let that stand. I had to go to my brother.</p><p>"I would join the Inquisition."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haven was not what I was expecting.</p>
<p>I knew that the Inquisition was just beginning, and the scouts had told me much about it as we traveled together, but somehow had still expected it to be, well, a town. But it looked more like a large encampment surrounding a Chantry.</p>
<p>"Not much, is it? But we're gaining more every day. Soon we'll outgrow Haven," said Aine, one of the scouts. She seemed to be their leader, and I had learned that she had met someone called Sister Leliana in Ferelden, where she had been recruited.</p>
<p>"What will you do then?" I asked, curious to know the answer.</p>
<p>Aine laughed.</p>
<p>"That's up to the ones in charge, I suppose," she said. "Maybe we'll move. Or maybe we'll just build on. Hard to say."</p>
<p>As we walked into Haven, I looked around curiously. There were people everywhere, mostly humans, but I saw a few elves here and there. A lot of Chantry, and we passed soldiers training on our way in, but mostly what looked like ordinary people. It was a surprise, but a welcome one. I had half expected it all to be soldiers and Chantry, or former Chantry, if what the scouts told me was true.</p>
<p>I knew more about it than I ever expected to, and more about the Chant and the Maker as well. While I'd previously had some ideas of what they believed, now I understood. Haven was a pilgrim's destination, the former location of the ashes of Andraste. I knew what it was like to have relics of the past, and to hold them sacred, so that was understandable. What I thought was more interesting was how it had been discovered. Warden Mahariel, during the First Blight, had found the ashes.</p>
<p>Like most Dalish, I held Warden Mahariel in high regard. She was a hero of the Age, and Dalish as well. I knew that her actions had made life better for all elves in Ferelden, where she was renown. </p>
<p>So I had some interest in the place itself. But I was mostly eager to see my brother.</p>
<p>"I wonder if Mahanon is back from Val Royeau yet," I mused allowed, trying to hurry my escorts along. They exchanged glances.</p>
<p>"We should take you to see Sister Leliana," Aine said. "She'll know about The Herald.  And she'll want to meet you, I'm sure."</p>
<p>This, while not exactly what I wanted, was agreeable enough. Sister Leliana had been a companion of the Warden, so I suspected she was friendly enough to the Dalish. And if she knew where my brother was, even better.</p>
<p>As we continued on, I heard a shout, and looked up, startled.</p>
<p>"Ellana? Ellana, is that you? Creators!"</p>
<p>I looked around wildly, a grin spreading on my face, and saw my brother running towards me.</p>
<p>"Mahanon!" I shouted, relief flooding me. After everything, thinking he was dead, finding out he was alive, seeing him was the best thing that had ever happened to me.</p>
<p>He ran up to me and embraced me, pulling me into the air, and I laughed, wrapping my arms around him. </p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" he asked, setting me down on the ground again.</p>
<p>"You didn't think I would leave you alone here, did you?" I asked, reaching up and playfully ruffling his hair. He shook off my hand, as he always did, and grinned.</p>
<p>"Thanks. The Keeper didn't mind?"</p>
<p>"I didn't give her much of a choice, actually," I said, somewhat sheepish. "But Maren will do fine without me as First, while I'm gone. Are you really the Herald of Andraste?"</p>
<p>Something darkened in Mahanon's gaze, and he ducked his head slightly, looking away.</p>
<p>"No! Creators, of course not. But that's what they're calling me. Because of this," he said, and he showed me his hand.</p>
<p>It was strange, the green mark, magic I had never seen or heard of before. I took his hand in mind, and traced the mark with my finger, trying to sense more about it.</p>
<p>"And you can close rifts?" I asked, wanting more information.</p>
<p>"Yes. I just reach up, and will it, and it kind of happens," he said, clearly struggling to explain. "It's hard, though, especially with bigger ones. And the demons that come out of them! I've never seen anything like it."</p>
<p>"But they're treating you well here?"</p>
<p>"Yes, everyone is very nice and everything. I've made friends. As glad as I am to see you, El, I didn't need to be rescued."</p>
<p>"You're my brother, Mahanon. I wasn't going to leave you alone," I said firmly.</p>
<p>He laughed a bit.</p>
<p>"I'm not alone, not anymore. But you're welcome here. How long are you going to stay?"</p>
<p>I shrugged a bit.</p>
<p>"I don't know. As long as you do, maybe."</p>
<p>He looked surprised at this.</p>
<p>"We'll see," was all he said. "Come on, I'm sure Leliana will want to meet you, and Cassandra, and the others."</p>
<p>He took my hand a tugged me along, and I followed willingly, eager enough to meet his companions and friends. I turned and waved at Aine and the other scouts, silently thanking them for the escort.</p>
<p>Mahanon lead me to a tent near the largest building, what I expected was the Chantry. Inside the tent was a slim, pretty woman. I could see red hair peeking out from under her hood. She was pretty, but had a sad sort of expression on her face.</p>
<p>"Leliana," he said cheerfully. "It looks like those scouts we sent to my clan worked out perfectly. They brought back a surprise."</p>
<p>Sister Leliana looked up from where she was looking at her papers. "Oh?"</p>
<p>"I'd like you to meet my sister, Ellana. Ellana, this is Leliana, our spymaster."</p>
<p>"A pleasure to meet you," I said, smiling a bit. She didn't return it.</p>
<p>"Do you intend on joining the Inquisition?" she asked, obviously curious, but not surprised.</p>
<p>"I intend on joining my brother," I said. "If that means the Inquisition, then yes."</p>
<p>"And you are mage, as well, I see. Well, welcome to Haven. If you see Threnn, our quartermaster, she'll set you up with a space to sleep and whatever you might need."</p>
<p>Here, Mahanon spoke up.</p>
<p>"She'll bunk with me. I have plenty of room in that house, Leliana, it's no trouble."</p>
<p>She looked a little amused at this.</p>
<p>"Very well. I'll see you later, Mahanon. Ellana." And with that, we were dismissed.</p>
<p>"She's interesting," I murmured to Mahanon once we were a safe distance away.</p>
<p>"Leliana's good people. But she has a tough shell. I'm working on it," he said.</p>
<p>That was my brother. Always seeing the best in people, always wanting the best for them. He was always prepared to lend a hand.</p>
<p>"I bet you are,"  I said teasingly, poking him in the side. "Who else am I meeting?"</p>
<p>"Oh, there are a few. Cullen. He's a former Templar, but he won't give you any trouble. He's the commander of our troops. Um, Varric, he's great. And Cassandra, she's a bit intimidating, but nice enough once you get to know her. I've just recruited two more, as well. Vivienne's a mage, and Sera's an archer. An elf, but don't bring up the Creators or anything. She's a bit sensitive about 'elfy stuff.'"</p>
<p>"Elfy stuff?" I asked, snorting.</p>
<p>"That's what she calls it. I don't know her very well yet, but she seems nice. Prone to pranks, though, so watch out. Um, there's Blackwall, a Grey Warden. Josephine, our ambassador. She doesn't come out on the field with us, though.  And of course, Solas. He's an elf, an apostate. Not Dalish, though. He knows a lot about the mark, and magic in general."</p>
<p>"It sounds like you've found yourself quite the group," I said, genuinely interested. "And what do you <em>do</em>, exactly? Close rifts, yes, but is that all?"</p>
<p>"The Inquisition is a force for peace," he said. "We do what we can to protect people, from mages, templars, and the chaos of the war. We've already secured much of the Hinterlands."</p>
<p>"<em>We</em>, is it? You've really thrown your lot in with this Inquisition, haven't you?"</p>
<p>He looked a little shy all of a sudden.</p>
<p>"Yes, I suppose I have. They're doing good work here," he said. "And I'm infamous already. I don't want to bring that down on the clan."</p>
<p>He had a point. If he was already known as the Herald of Andraste, that could bring attention on the clan that we didn't need. <span>I nodded.</span></p>
<p>"Alright. Then I'm with you."</p>
<p>"Just like that, huh?"</p>
<p>"Just like that. Let's meet your friends."</p>
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